...

Your thing

My thing

Everthing

Nothing makes since

Saying too much

Is never enough

Silence

Quit

Mute

Screaming

Trying

Failing

Failng

Failing

Falling

One thing to the next

Situation



Confrontaion

Must be rid of

A stand to be made

Love to be givin

Life to be living

Never ending...

idk

The days go by..
Emotions run high...
Loves on my mind..
The year so fast.
It past..
Lessons learned..
Songs sang..
Excuses heard..
As we come to thee end...
What is diffrent...
For the end is only the beganinng..
For some of repetition...
Others a new desicion...
Ways of life become a mystery...
Old habits become history..
Misery still loves...
To dwell on what is not....
The heart never stops loving...
The lover changes...
Sometimes stays the same...
Or recives new love in vain..
Explorations become..
Memories..
Tears turn to strength...
To never be hurt again...
Hard hearts...
Become soft..
For new love is found..
Fantasy becomes...
Reality..
Unfountanly
Reality isnt..
Always fantasy..
For life happens..
And the next second...
Is known to none...
But in the seconds givin...
Is in the descion..
Of one

My words

Realizing
That...
Their things that need to be said
And I know..
That without MY voice
Behind them..
They will lack
Compassion..
Conviction
The message will not...
Be clear
I dont expect...
For all to know
Or even attempt...
To grasp the jist
Of what I know...
To be MY thinking
Process..
But to only progress
From the words..
That I put together
From the jigpuzzle...
That lies beneth
My soul...
May they reach
In a way that can..
Be transparent
And understood..
Inhaled
And ...
Digested
May MY words...
Be tested

There are..

There are things that are said
there are things that are done
there are things that are ment for more then one
there things for u
and for me
but i know for sure we are not to be
what that being said the run was fun
so deep in love i begun
too much hesitation from ur sensation
but my creation wont be a desecration
so with that life shall still move with
changing moods of open hearts and bafoons
of sometime jus not being in the mood too havin noo food
but see the things of we is so strong
that even seprately you belong to the one that is me..

Cant erase

Your in my thoughts..
On a daily bases...
Nothing can erase...
The impact you have...
Fadin....
Are thoughts...
From thee...
Of me...
But of thee..
From me....
Nothing is vivid...
Everthing seems...
To be of...
Yesterday...
So vividly I see...
Me and Thee..
In a warm imbrace..
Fireworks...
From the taste...
Of your lips..
To mine...
Into a frenzy...
I go mentally..

Your in my thoughts..
On a regular basis....
The one thing...
I cant erase is...
YOU..

Tryin

To understand,
Where I am,
Two steps foward,
Ten to the back,
This cycle,
On the bicycle,
Ridin,
And riding,
Tryin not to,
Too,
Die on the inside,
My heart is getting
So tired,
Love requires,
More then I thought,
To much to prove,
But less to loose,
To demanding,
But never understanding,
Or even deamandingly,
Useful,
Full of shit,
Unessecary,
Confrontation,
But not even confronting,
Finding through,
Ways of life,
TRYIN
And not getting,
Anywear,
Stoppin and staring,
Looking everywhere,
An,
No ones there,
Maybe thats a lie,
But never can they,
Really say what lies,
Underneth my skin,
To the peaks of my,
Soul or what makes me,
Whole,
Or what song my heart,
Beats to..
TRYIN
To be the best me,
I can be,
Stronger then,
Thee,
Not purposely,
But thats me,
See the knowledge,
Of me is unknow,
In that way,
My struggles are,
What makes me,
Who I be,
Uncontrolablly,
Being only,
S.A.M.E,
Flexible true,
But only if its,
Two,
Otherwise,
Its back to the usual,
Confused Iknow,
TRYIN,
No liein
Cryin
Or
Subsidin,
No
More

I wont give
IN..

moon and stars

Still and powerful..
Surpising..
Inspirering..
The reason..
Full..
Sometimes not..
But either way..
It takes me..
Mesmerizes..
Blissfully..
Suddenlly..
Unnoticed..
Until gave notice..
Now everyone wants..
To see..
And understand..
The beauty..
But here..
I have always been..
And you will always be..
No matter what I know..
You wont leave..
And you friends will..
Aways comfort me...
My moonandstars..
You will always be..
so loinve thee..

FL

Feeling like one of them,
Not wanting to be,
But I can see,
That imma have to set you free,

See the gravity,
Is undeniable,
In some instance extreamly,
Reliable,


Traits that are hard to find,
Define,
But too many,
Are consumed,


Feeling like part of the problem,
Urning to be the reSOULution,
Knowing that I cant,
Fighting my Beautiful Desires,
Is the only way,
That it should have ever been,

Tryin not to think of you,
Provocativelly,
But my mind wonders,
Into places,
Spaces,
That I would like to be,
Inside of you so deeply,
Until I touch places,
Not even you knew,
Exist,
Take you on an ecstacy trip,
While I take a slippery
Trip bettween your,
Beautiful pussy lips,

My mind takes me to,
Places I urn to be,
From inside of me,
To inside of thee..
Want to you relentlessly,
Want you to want me the same,
See this aint the way its suppose to be,
Cant stop wondering,

When I close my eyes,
I wish I see,
My mouth is watering,
From the thought of tasting thee,
My hands tremble,
From the thought of your touch,

Thoughts are just thoughts....But its not enough,
To feed the hungery deep within,
Nothing Can..

Hesitating..

So many things,
I wish I could say,
To make it all go,
Away,

Thinkin of the things,
I cant do to show you,
That love is true,

Taking on the pain,
As if it were my own,

Knowin deep down,
No matter who is around,
You feel alone,

Unable to reach out,
And show you,
How blissful life can be,
Wanting to be,

Not able to use my power,
To break through the sheilds,
That question,

Hesitating..

....

I wont ask you to think of me
For I know,
You have many thoughts,
But will ask you to save me,
One beat of your heart's,
Symphony,
Simply
Beacause,
Of history.

i know

You know,
Because...
Things change...
Nothing is the same...
Become rearranged...
No more ease to the pain..
That hurts..
So good...
Never thought it would...
Moments are rented..
Until they ...
Find a home...
Everything is done..
In a much lower tone..
Almost of non-existance...

Sittin reminicin...
Felt it coming..
Expected it...
Knew it..
But still wasnt ready...
To let go..
Wishing I could..

No need in dreaming..
Cause never will it be..
A reality..

I now see!

Beautiful desire

Beautiful desires,
Inspire,
One to become,
Intrigued,
Into a plethera of thoughts,
Caught...

Inside a,
Implicit...
Mind trip that,

Abducts
All
Reality...
Sending it into a frenzy,

Aspiring..
The most..
Surpressed,
&
Forbidden....

Desires

Become inspired
From that deep
Down..
Fickering, Flamin
Fire..

That requires..
Only a thought
To be lit..

But once lit
Thats it...

Submitting..
To the..
Dominance..

Of Beautiful....

DESIRES

Clearly..

I am in love,

So deeply,

That at times,

Things I dont see clearly,

I am still learning,

And fighting,

For a love that is,

Untaited,

Being in love,

Is...

Like nothing else,

In this world,

It confuses you,

Uses you,

And is so strong,

That it leaves,

Brusies,

It can be like,

An illusion,

Leaving you,

With a brain,

Contusion,

Life seems,

To come as more,

Of delusion,

Then reality,

Finding yourself,

Doing the unthinkable,

Thinkin about things,

That shouldn be thought,

Or should they,

Thoughts and Feeling,

Are things,

That cant be controled,

Nor consoled,

Sometimes leaves the,

Heart cold,

But I am so In love,

That I try not to be,

Cause its not of me,

Or maybe shouldn be,

But its a part of me,

That is undeniable,

And I try ya know,

I try,

But..

I am in a love so deeply that I dont at times I dont think clearly,
And clearly I will do anything to protect it.......

RE-SOUL-UTION

Never have I understood,
What was so forgien,
About love and happieness,

Out of all the things in the world,
These are the only things I live for,
And laughter of course,
I am not sure why,
Its so hard to get,

Things happen,
Life happens,
But with all the things,
That happen,
The love that I,
Radiate,
Never seems too,
Loose its glow,
Now matter how,
Low,
One may go,

It seems that everyone,
Gets IT,
But me,
Unless its you,
In the equation,

Trying to find out,
How we got to this,
Situation,
Tired of crying,
And sleepless nights,

Trying to understand,
Why we fight,
Trying to get to a place,
Of peace and,
Find the pieces,
Of me,

I am HERE,
And will always,
Be,
But where are you,
Too me,

Emotions with,
Others I see,
Never with me,
Loved you for soo long,
Before,
Me,
Always,
In everyway,
And its funny,
Cause you might feel,
The same way,

So my question to you is why,
Do we continue to play,
"House"
As some would say,
Action speak louder then,
Words and I feel like,
My actions shout,
Scream,
Jump,
Carry on,
And about,

But the thing is..
ITS ONLY MEE...
Like I am the ENEMY
Feeling like a,
Genmy...

Fustrated cause I,
Feel like you aint into,
Me no more,
After all the,
Turmoial,
U put me through,
Ok at one point,
I hurt you too,
Turmoil,
It wasnt,
If you ask me it really,
Wasnt nothing,
On my part,
But trust hasn been there,
From the start,
So why did we start,

Thinking with hearts,
And not minds,

Wishing I could turn back,
The hands of time,
U know
Rewind,
Try to find,
Where we went wrong,
Feeling like a love song,

Tryin to stay strong,
Hold on,
Cause see I,
Live for love,
And I believe that,
The love here is true,
But I dont even to seem,
To even get and effort out,
Of you, Feeling
Constued...

In a mood,
In a state,
That I dislike,
Because I have not,
An ounce of HATE,
So much love that I,
Could combust,
Exreamly overwhelmed,

LIFE IS TOO MUCH!

Unable to focus,
On life its self,
For you are,
A major part,
Afraid that this will stop,
Non stop,

Am I thinking,
Trying to find the soulution,
They shoulda put shit like this,
In the constitution,
So that I can have a,
RE-SOUL-UTION....

love me doors

Trying to learn,
To love me,
I love love so much,
It has consumed me,
Putting myself out there,
For too many to see,
Getting shot down,
But never falling,
Just loosing a lil,
Of me along the way,
Giving people peices,
Of me,
But I need,
For someone to show me,
That there is hope,
For the love I carry,
Its heavy,
Full of emotion,
And pure,
To its core,
..
But the one thing I know
For sure,
Is that I am no longer opening my doors...

the last thing

I hope all is well,

Its funny that u ask,

As well as its gonna be,

Thanks for takin the on,

The task,

Things could always be,

Better,

As always,

But nowadays,

Ive been in a rage,

That I cant control,

That is inside my soul,

Missing,

Realizing that without,

I am unhappy,

Not understanding,

Fully what that means,

Tryin to keep being,

And not give up,

But time waits,

For no one,

Hope all is well,

All is Well is true,

But would be,

Be better if all,

Was with . . .

Feel...?

Feelings..
Ahh...

Feeling intertwined,
Into a love that is so,
Divine,
That it has consumed
Thee extreamities
Of my inmortal
Soul,
Making me feel,
Like a slave,
To its core,

Unable to break free,
Not wanting to,
Urning to be,
But whats best,
For thee...?

Worlds

So many worlds,
Within this world,
Confused of to which,
I belong in
Feelin like a Marvin,
The Marshin
Starvin for a world,
Within this world,
That best fits me,
But how many,
Why so much mystery,
So many times,
Worlds have collided,
Enough for things.
To be decided,
Worlds have been,
Denied in,
Lied in,
Recreated,
Then
Re decided,
There are worlds,
To hide in,
But whos doing the
Hidin,
Deep inside in,
A....
World where I don
Feel like Marvin,
And i anit starvin,
To fit in,
Sit an,
Think about,
These worlds,
So many to be in,
Some can be so,
Intriguin,
But what is my,
Being,
What world should I,
Be in,
As foreigen
As a korean,
To the world that,
I be in...
Tryin to find,
My inner,
Human being...

Prob or Solution?

Internally
Goin
Into
A place where
I
Have no control,
Love,
Has gone,
To a place,
Beyond,
Wishing,
Hoping,
Dreaming..(likereally)
Dreaming that,
I was the
One that
YOU called apon,
In your time,
Of distress,
Urning to be,
More then JUS..
Not sure if you beileve
Or feel the magnetic
Charge..
Knowing its more..
Feeling it more..
Then I can even control..
Tryin to let go,

But
I am in something,
That I cant seem to shake,
But was it all a mistake?
Wanting to be apart of the solution and not the prob!

Time will tell

Where this came from,
Im not sure,
But its hard because,
Cause more and more,
Everday,
Everthing,
Signs,
Songs,
Coming on,
So strong,
Even when Im
Not,
I am,
Mesmerized,

Being where,
I am is hard,
Cause Ive been,
Hunted,
And
Tunted by things,
That cant change,
Wanting to be in a diffrent
Frame,

Feeling
Outside of myself,
But not somebody eles,

Not wanting to hurt,
But wanting happiness
Finding,
But never
When....
Living,
But never knowing
But still knowing,
In this short time,
Wanting so much,
Pain from...
Past has
Past...
But...
Time will tell
Whats missing
Forreal..

RIP

I shead tears,
For my Auntie V,
Which have been shared,
With my Grandmom,
I shead tears,
For Going to Cecils,
And share those same tears,
With Zuri,
Tears flowed for MJ,
And his family,
I shead tears for my last
Part of my Grandmom,
My Nana,
With those tears,
Came a fear,
Then more tears
Were to be freed,
For my Aunt Q,
Never have I shead so many tears

Thinkin

I always speak of,
Second chances,
But what,
Does that make,
Of a person,
Love,
I know from
Experince,
Can be the most,
Powerful thing that
Exist,
But at the end
How do u know,
What right,
Or wrong,
For a person,
(likeme)
Who constanly,
Is analyzing,
Every senerio,
Disecting,
Every word
Counting,
Recounting,
Erasing,
Doing over,
Looking over,
But when my back,
Is against the wall,
Nothing makes since,
Words become,
Numbers,
Sentences become
Equations,
And never is there,
A realization,
Of life,
Or of death even,
Jus,
Love,
In the name of,
Nothing matters,
But that feeling,
And how can u get it back,
Say,
Anything,
Do
Anything,
Jus,
To
Feel
That
Feeling again
So things,
Began to not matter,
You loose,
You feel trapped
You feel so many things,
Things that you didnt
Even know that were,
Capible to be felt,
But who,
And why,
No matter how much,
Its never like the first,
Somethings you cant get back,
But if you WANT something,
You WILL get it back..

Air

Things go through my brain so insane,
I think too much,
Too much to think about,
Heart beats so fast,
Putting my last breath into,
Everyone,
And
Everthing,
But if I am breathing for them,
Who is breathing for me,
Where are the people,
You know the ones,
That will be there,
No matter what,
Or the ones that claim,
That the know you so well,
If this is true,
Then why,
Jus why
Am I
My shoulder to cry on,
The one to wipe my tears,
The one tellin me that things,
Are going to be ok,
Where is all the support that,
I give,
Now understand,
I dont do things for others,
With intentions of getting it back,
Nor,
Am I ungreatful,
For the things that I,
Have been blessed with,
But when,
Will I have one moment,
A second,
Jus to breath for Me..

I dare not say!

This color,
Is used for,
Many things,
But in this instance,
You will see,
How such beauty,
Can find you,
So guilty,
Of an emotion,
That most of the time,
You dont realize,
Until it hits you,
And when it does,
You feel,
No you go,
Into a state of,
Denial,
Because,
You think,
NOT ME,
I cant be,
There is no way,
That I can be,
Sooo
GREEN!

Something new

Something new
I am going to try,
And see,
If this works,
Cause see,
They say,
That the definition,
Of insanity,
Is to do things,
Redundently,
Expecting,
Alteration,
Out of years,
Days,
Months,
And weeks,
Of confontation,

So imma switch it up,
And make my own alterations,
Elemenating confrontation,
Takin life in a lighter sense,
But still dense,

Recreatating,
An already extrodainary,
Creation,
Taking to heights,
Unknow by the keen eye,

So...
!Hello/goodbye!

phase!

I was a phase
I know this is true
Since the first time
I became true
Been one before
So I know how this works
Its ok cause I wanted it at first
To chase is not ment for me to do
But to played wit anit cool,
Not the first time
Shade was thrown my way
But its cool
Cause this game I wont play
My thoughts,
My words,
My mind,
My soul,
And
My heart still exist
Full with moments of true bliss
So if I say nothing else,
I will say this,
Love still lives,
Slitly missed,
But I dont dwel over shit!

?

So blown, tired of , life, things happening, things changing, being older, nothing seems to be getting better, everything seems to not be right, why, I dont know Some people are cool wit living, and change, me on the other hand, So many things i need and want, know how to get them, but am too afriad to reach, something is goin to happen, and its not good, I can feel it in my soul, I want to many things, But dont go for them because i dont feel worthy, am I, I dont know if its me being lazy, or jus something inside me that is holdin me back, i have so many emotions, never know where to direct them, emotionaly drained, feeling that is insane is sane, feeling abandon from the world, In more ways then one, Loving love so much that I feel it has failed me,
never understood,but do i make it hard on myself, I jus want things to be ok, or do i really, is the drama what keeps me going, cant be cause i cant stand extra, the things i want r simple to me but just what are they to thee?

Almost there

OOOOOH
Yeah
You feel that
MMM
Nice I know
SSSS
Thats...it....Right
There
DAMMMN
Plz don stop me
Jussss.....
IIIIII
Want you..
Yess
OOOOO
Jus surrender
To
What I want to give you...
AHHHHH
Music to my ears
Tryin to reach a point beyond
Beyond
beyonSSSSS-
HIT
So sweet and foul you sound..
S-L-O-W
If thats how u want me to go
Im almost to your
Soul..

?

I never understood the saying..."I don want to be wit you but I dont want u to be with anyone else either." or , Why people feel the need to put themselves in catigories of your life that they dont belong in. or Why people dont realize actions speak louder then words, beacuse me personally I belive nothing that I hear and half of what I see. I dont get why we do things the same expecting diffrent results..most people are insane. Dont understand why there just cant be peace when everyone know right from wrong..

These are the scars..

The ones that help me...

So I think..

The ones that help me..

Forget...

The ones that..

Care..

Each one has a purpose..

Wheather,

Fear,

Or sadness...

So lost no one can find me...

So confused,

So scared,

So don like change,

So stuck,

So the scars..

Remain..

They grow..

Over years..

And days...

So now only my sleeves can feel my pain,

Slowy they drain...

The feelings insane...

Slothy feeling the pain...

Drift away..

Until there is no more...

But for how long..

Before the pain is..

Permenatly Gone?

I

I
I L
I Lo
I Lov
I Love
O
Oh
H
Ho
How
I L
I Lo
I Lov
I Love
L
Lo
Lov
Love!

Silence

So much inside..
Tired of hiding...
Lots of love..
To give.
To share
I have far
Too
Many
Feelings..
Never knowing,
What to do with them..
I am scared..
Not knowing..
What is instore..
Wanting tooo much..
From.
I
Jus
Dont know..
Screaming always..
Inside..
Wishing
Hoping
Dreaming
Someone
Something
Of
Or
Non
Existence
Would..
Could..
Hear!!!

Umm..

So soft spoken,

Indeed,

No need to shout out,

This could only be about,

Intrerested in your thoughts,

In the silence I know you best,

Not sure how...

But connected by the moon,

Waited so long for you to confess,

Knew from the first time,

You would be My,

Someday,

My..

In some way

My...

No words to describe,

But your are My..

:)

You know that one,

That you only get one of,

That sent from above,


Unaware..

Of the hold you have..

The way you make me laugh..

Although you call me names,

I relized why,

Beacuse you,

Love
All
My
Elements

Thats why you are..
My...

I guess?

I M sorry
Sorry for thinking out loud,
Knowin...
I dont need to say,
But I do need to say,
I M sorry,
For feeling...
No I M not sorry,
For feeling...
Because they dont lie,

But what you think,
Is possible,
Unfortunately,
But never,
Equally..
One thing that,
I am sorry about..
Is that it took..
So long..
For you to realize,
But things,
Life,
The world,
Happens....
And the sorrys..
Become me,

You

You are my muse..
My reason for writing...
The one to thank for...
The thoughts..
The flow..
The way the words come out...
The reason y..
I...
Am able..
Too express myself..
Too scream n shout..
To be me...
To smile...
... :) ...

Thinkin

Thoughts..
Too many...
Not enough...
Time...
In a day..
For all of the thoughts..
That i have...
I think too..
Much...
Many..
People say..
I think about...
The moon..
Oh the moon..
So clear..
So beautiful..
So understanding...
I think about..
Love..
Oh love
So there..
So hurtful..
So wrong..
Too strong..
But there
So there...
I think about..
Takin..
A long walk..
Around the park..
After dark..(lol)
So peaceful
So real..
So mmmm..
Jus sooooo....
The right place to be..
I think about....

Words

There are words that i can think,
There are words that i can say,
There are words that are hard,
To think,
To understand,
To comprehend,
To put together
To grasp
To Consture
To know
These word come from a place,
That lies deep with in,
You speak what you think,
Is what i belive is true,
But those words....
So many ways...
...
....
.....
Hmmm..
Jus so many ways,
To use words,
So many ways we,
Urn to use these words,
Too many ways,
To missuse
To accuse
To refuse
These words..The words...

This time...?

I am not sure,
If it is because,
Its that time of the year,
But in my soul,
I
am
Starting......
To feel..
That fear...
Again
The one that
Lies
Deep within...
The one that..
I don ever
Wanna feel again.
Not the distance
But..
The actions
The things..
That happen again
The pattern
The lies
OHHHH
The lies
Then always lies a
Surprise...
That
I..
Am..
Jus..
Not..
Ready...
For
I feel it again..
Not because of thoughts..
Jus because of time...
Know that it
Happend
Around this time...
In this...this..
(*sighs)

you

not as much as i
u don't
not as much as me
you cant
lies
you convey
hypnotized
i am
by who?
scared why?
cause u....
who
you...
but who is you
not the u
i knew
or know
or wish
or wonder
about
not as much as i
not you...
even though
you say you do
its coooooo...
but i
can
no
longer do
you for
u...
we is all for me...

Change

New beginngs,
Means things must end,
New faces,
Means new personalities,
But what does all this mean to me?
New things.
Can be a beautiful thing,
Can be a painful thing,
Can blow you,
Can make you into,
Jus so into,
Change,
Rearrange,
So what is change?
Do we really,
Are we capable of,
Is it possible,
Or is it a cover up?
For those who want us to do so,
Is it ever real or genuie,
When people do,

Competition.....?

When....

Just when will it be...

My time to shine...

In your eyes...

Obviously not enough...

Or is it just that tough..

To choose...

Bettween..

Mabey not choose..

But amuse me...

Show me...

That I am worthy...

Of that much....

...Jus....

...Think...

About us...

And we....

How we use to be..

You and me...

Together...

Like the fuzz..

To the leaves...

That hang on..

Our special trees..

That we share together..

So constantly...

But still I feel..

Like I am in a.....

COMPETITION....

Feelings

Its something,
I just don know,
I something that..
Thats missing from my life,
I wake up everymorning,
Feelin ready to take on the world,
But by nightfall,
I dont recall,
Those feelings,
The ones that give me,
The encouragement,
That I urn for,
I look to my left,
Then again to the right,
Nothings there,
Jus me,
Nothing there to see,
All the pain,
How so often I go insane,
Nothing but tears,
To feel,
All the things,
I dont want to say,
Or to read my face,
Without disgrace,
I jus dont know,
How to feel,
Anymore........