..how i feel

You gotta be fucking kidding me..
I mean after all this time..
Me trying, begging and pleading..
And needing you..
To just be..
I mean seriously
You gotta be fucking kidding me..
Life as I seen has been a dream..
And now you wanna be on the lets make up team...
Been playing all by myself all this time..
Me on Me..
Now you see..
Why the fuck I gotta be..
Unresponsive to get one..
Where the fuck is this coming from..
I forgot how to respond..
So I just go with the flow..
I dont know how much longer I can go..
The fact that you dont see shit is fucked up..
Says more then enough..
Its gonna take more then a kiss or two..
A good fuck..
Good luck cause that train has derailed..
I hate to feel like this..
But shit is real..
You gotta be fucking kidding me
Im realizing that I lost myself in you..
Dont get me wrong the love I have for you
I less then Pretend..
But thinking of all the lies I
Began to say again..
You gotta be fucking kinding me..not on a day like today