half way..

so many signs..
it clear too see...
but something..
is keeping me from
me...
mind racing..
trying to catch up wit parts..
of my hearts...
feels like i have more then one..a old..and a new..
that is slowly rising..
like the sun..
but clouded by the old...
tryin to shine through..
but its stuck..
like thee alaska dusk..

i must try to find my way through but for now my heart will shine half way through

what to do...

..stategically placed..
then re..
surfaced..
outta space...
is where it all seems
to lye..
lies multiply then divid..
into what pieces of the pie
are more true..
tired of being so into u..
tired of feeling like a fool..
tired of feeling so uncool..
..dont wanna be ruled..
..but i would love to know
that this love is true..
or is it some twisted thing..
that has been totally miss constued..
damn ur rude...
pouring my guts out..
because i feel that my heart is numb..
feeling beyond dumb...
just wanna be done..
once the sunrises..
i want the surpises to be of..
ur epiphany...i wanna hear a sympony..
but truthfully...
idk what i want really..

kicks..

what am i afraid of..
dreams are made of..
this...
i dismiss
no more bliss..
not even a suculant kiss..
i resist..
for the sake of resisting...
i put myself in situations ..
of complication..
with every situation..
i die a little
cry more then a little..
u playing me like a fiddel..
faddle..chitter
chatter..nothing matters..
of fact..
not feeling in tac..
tic..i feel sick..
so tired of this shit...
feels like ur playing wit my heart for kicks..

...

Lost in passion..
Stuck in reaction..
Trapped..
Into something unknown..
Beyond belief.
But I dont dis...
I miss..
Confused about this..
Now which..
Way to that bliss..
That fills my soul...
Not cold..
Untold because..
Now is not right..
Inside I fight...
Trying to find the light..
Of love..
Not just bright..
More a fluorescent color..
Blinding you..
Moments stolen..
Heart controlin..
Mind there obliviously..
Frivolously...
Another part of me..
Unknow to most ..
Rears its head..
Demanding...
Not understanding..
Standing..
Sittiing
Waiting..
Deabating...
My heart seems to be
Procreating..
No longer to procrastinate..
Real loves waiting..
But for now I will be hesitating

my world..

In my own world..
Trying to catch up wit
History..
In ever single eye
There lyes
Mystery..
Why does it seem that
Whats good... is
Really suga coated
Misery..
I feel for me..
Cause unfoutanaly..
I cant separate
The two
Red from blue
Me from you..
False and true..
So many contradictions
So how do I make my
Subscription
Tired of predicting
Direction..
Need some clearity..
Whats for my eyes to see..
The inner me seems trap in..
Insecutities
Fighting with a heart
That don seem like it belongs to me..
But what really does..
Everthing that is givin to you..
Seems to be taken..
Or either mistaken..
For something conveint..
Meaning nothing in the end..
Defeding this world I live in..
For I know all the rules
Trails and tribulations..
Im comfortable with confontation?
Is ok to have no sensation?
Relations?
...this is how its suppose to be...
.....well maybe for me.........

Thoughts

In my own world..
Trying to catch up wit
History..
In ever single eye
There lyes
Mystery..
Why does it seem that
Goods
Really suga coated
And
Bad is always noted
Living in a world
Where nothing is right
And nothing is wrong.
Diffrent repeated day
Same song
Maybe a remix
Not equipped for your ignorance
So I will attempt to ingnore it..

Just thinking..

Mind frozen in time
To a time of mind
Frame that was less
Insane..
Froze in the sane part
That seems of non existance
Resistant to the obvious
Listen...
To the magnaitude
Of the whats
Known to be
Of this life..
Dont seem right..
Too me..
Nothing makes since
Science seems more real
At least I can touch it..
At least there is some explaination..
At least with confrontation there is
Soulution...
In most cases
But the case is..
Nothing is defInate
Define it..
But once you rewind it..
The meaning becomes of
Something that makes not one
Bit of sense..
5
But the 6th kicks in..
Back in this circle of whats
know to be of life...
Full love hate and strife..
And mights
More no's then yesses..
But full of this thing thats so aggressive
So many guesses..
Never is the lesses...
Seems like the message..