...ok so

feelin like..
i said too much..
enough is enogh
the heart is not as tough
as it use to be
holding on to whats left of me..
trying to see whats real..
concealin
dealing
myself a bad hand
wish i had a hunit grand
a hint into whats really real
not sayin its a raw deal
my choice it was to reveal
but stiiiillllllll....
i feel..
too much
think too much
nothing seems enough..
consistisy is outta touch..
reaching for thing that
only exisit in fantasy..
fantasy..
seems to be
my only reality...
escape from casualties....

feel

feeling like a school girl..
with new curls..
as i twirl them
thinking of you...
wondering whats true..
feeling..like this feeling..
is only feeling cause its..
sparatic..
not caring..
cause the feeling..
is addiment..
glad in it..
plz don let it..
all be a fad
dont want it to fade..
need it to stay...
jus don go away

..

Half pounding..
No sound in...
Closer then
Near..
I Fear..
What's felt
Melting..
By the thought of..
Don't speak..
Just watch..
HEAR...
Because..
Words won't
Tell me
What i need to know..
That half is telling..
Me something..
wanting more..
then nothing..

ok

Tryin to put in perspective..
A perception of what's real..
To many things I feel..
Concealed seems to be the truth..
More or less..
Not feeling this test..
What's next...
Bleeding for yes...
Screaming for no..
Emersed...
In finding...

..unfinshed..

Dream.
....dream...
...Dreaming....
Of the perfect life..
Dreaming..
Is whats right..
There are always probs..
But do they always have..
To be ginomormous..
To the point of..
Permenat damange..
No recovery..
I have a discovery..
Relizing that Its hard for me..
To let go..
Consistancy...
Is key..
And once Im hurt its
Hard to heal my heart..
Realizing my heart..
Is as fagial as a bubble..
Its in trouble..

?

Reasons..
Sometimes feel like..
Excuses..
Taking more then less.
To explain..
Trying to come to an understanding..
Of ones thinking process..
To posses so many unwanted thoughts..
Caught weather or not..
On guard..
Card pulled..
Realizing..
That somethings really arent..
What they seem..
Trying to figure out..
Just what does this all mean..
Feeling obsceAn..
Green...